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Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

Not only does Mr. Garrison have a touching episode with Mr. Hat's anger, which I find very
amusing, but Mrs. Cartman gives an explanation to Cartman's attitude about his "Weighty"
stature. Although Chef's interest in extraterrestrial is visited in this episode, it is promptly
dumped in following episodes. As of PINK EYE, Chef has not mentioned Visitors of any kind
in any context. Also pertaining to Chef is possibly his greatest song, which gives grace to
Isaac Hayes, "I'm Gonna Make Love To Ya Woman". This song tops all others I have heard,
with its weighty theme and basic overview of Chef's attitude. Chef's Zombie Song clocks in a
close second, by the way.

The first episode is KEWL! With special effects that rival Speilberg's "Close Encounters".
Eric Cartman, the definite "heavy" of the show, is an eight year old acting dynamo! His
portrayal as an alien abducted, big boned, third grader was of an Oscar caliber! Chef, the
sexual singing optimist, is played the great Issac Hayes ( he sang the theme song for "Shaft"
and kicked ass in "Escape From New York" and "I'm Gonna Git Ya Sucka"). Kenny, the
orange hooded, third grade Andrew "Dice" Clay, is the kid who has the immortal talents of
"Jason, Freddie, Michael, and the Energizer Bunny ( they all keep going, and going, you know
the rest )! Kyle's speech to the aliens was a real tear jerker! I think it would have been a little
more moving if he sang it in Hebrew. Stan, the head guy, portrays the role we all have been
through at one time in our lives, that endearing question....when am I going to get laid!
Long live Trey & Matt!

Weight Gain 4000

Weight Gain 4000 was very funny I thought. The episode was mostly centered around Eric
Cartman and I think it showed the intelligence of Cartman as well. Yes, I did say intelligence.
Kyle is supposed to be the smart one in the show, but, I have noticed over time that Cartman
seems to be very intelligent as well. Even though he cheated to win the contest in Weight
Gain 4000, that was a pretty good idea I have to say. He did end up winning, didn't he? :)
Anyways...I didn't think this episode had it all. I didn't find it quite as funny as some of the
others. The show also focused a lot on Mr. Garrison's mad Mr. Hat obsession and that he is
playing the "insane teacher" part in the show. The show had some pretty funny parts I have to
say. Where Mr. Garrison tries to kill Kathie Lee, but is thwarted by the bulletproof bubble
and how Cartman gets the size of a house and still thinks he is a beefcake...hehe

"Weight Gain 4000" was the first episode of "South Park" I've seen. It made a very favorable
impression on me right away. It was just hilarious when Eric Cartman said why he hates
rainbows. In fact, Cartman's voice is so funny, almost anything he says can get me laughing.
Of course, after I see about 20 episodes, the novelty of Cartman's funny voice might start to
wear off, but if the writing continues to be as good as it is in "Weight Gain 4000," there will
be a lot of other stuff to laugh at.

Volcano

First of, we're introduced to some great characters - Stan's Uncle Jimbo
and Jimbo's "old war buddy" who's come along "to keep things safe." Ned,
the hapless disabled war vet who's forced to speak through "the ol'
cancer kazoo" thanks to years of smoking, is admittedly, a somewhat obvious
source of humor (much like Officer Barbrady), yet I found myself on the floor
during his rousing rendition of Kumbaya. Jimbo's "supervision" of the
doomed hunting party is also classic and his "drink, hunt and tell dirty
jokes" attitude is probably as representative of a typical "white-bred
mountain town" as anyone's.

As those of us who remember, know - no matter what problems or
situations present themselves in a young man's life, be it a schoolyard bully, a
dead relative or a kidnapped playmate, snatched in the night by an elusive
mountain creature, there is nothing, - NOTHING funnier or more worthy of
immediate attention than a good fart.

An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig

I've already commented on a lot about this episode, and yet still I haven't covered it all. The
cloned Stan? Possibly one of the funniest cartoon characters to have been invented. . .EVER.
And of course, what kills me is when the News show depicts the young Stan Marsh on the
monitor, smiling, and informs the public that, if they see this boy, they should kill him and
burn his body. This series is awesome. It's awesome because almost none of its jokes falls
flat, and because it has the courage to explore humor on ridiculous (did someone say
Scuzzlebutt?) topics and on "wrong" topics.

Also, in terms of character development, this episode is consistently hilarious. Mr. Garrison
is in top form ("Well, spank my monkey and call me Charlie: Two A+ students in a cloning
war). And Cartman is his usual, stupid self ("Why don't you go back to San Francisco with
the rest of the Jews?") And of course, the best line of the episode is spoken by Terrance's
Friend (I don't know which one). The exchange goes something like this:
Terrance's Father: Oh son, you've made a
horrible mistake. You've put the
people of South Park in jeopardy."

Pink Eye

A brilliant homage to the cult masterpiece "Night of the Living Dead" and the entire
flesh-eating zombie genre it spawned. Parker and Stone follow their neo-Luddite muses
(introduced in their earlier Dr. Moreau episode)in having the hapless Kenny snuffed out by
the poster child of Russian double-wide technology, Mir. Kenny is reborn in a plot twist
taking a well aimed shot at Anglophiles everywhere by having Worcestershire sauce used
accidentally as an elixir of life. The tale goes on to prove that the only things scarier than the
cinematic living dead (zombies) are the real-life sitcomatic living dead (Tina Yothers and
Edward James Olmos). And that the most frightful monsters are found in the hearts of men in
the form of anti-Semitism, white supremacy, class warfare, medical malpractice, zombie
cannibalism, girlfriends who get you to dress up in a totally foo-foo costume while they wear
awesome Chewbacca costumes, and insufficient government regulation of Anglo-Saxon
condiment warning labels. Leave it to the English to be the experts when it comes to eating
undead, fetid flesh. British food sucks, but at least MY mom's not on the cover of Crack
Whore Magazine.

Starvin' Marvin

This one really gets you into the holiday spirit :) The whole episode
starts out trying to demonstrate the spirit of giving with Mr. Garrisons
class trying to organize a canned food drive for the poor. Cartman
however thinks this is a bad idea "IM NOT GIVING FOOD TO POOR PEOPLE,
SCREW THEM!" And if you've seen the previous episodes before, we all
know who the "poor" people will be...Kenny's family. The next part of
the episode starts out with the boys watching Terrance and Philip's
thanksgiving special..where they fart on each other (surprise surprise). A
commercial sees them watching a surprisingly accurate portrayal of Sally
Struthers in a save the children ad. Seeing that a free Taiko sports
watch will be given to anyone who sponsors a child, Stan steals his
mom's credit card #, and adopts a child. The next day the children rush
home only to find that an Ethiopian(or as they call it an "ethrenopian")
been sent to them by mistake. They take him in only until the principal
at the school finds out and has the kid sent back to Ethiopia. except
Cartman goes instead of him :) After wandering throught he dessert of
Ethiopia, Cartman finds a shack containing sally struthers eating snacky
cakes. Meanwhile back home, Kenny plays "canned food grab" only to get a
can of string beans while a pack of mutant turkey's attacks the town.
The whole episode ends with Kenny getting mauled by a turkey and having
his eye ripped out, his poor ass family eating a can of unopenable
string beans, and Cartman..well still fat.

Cow Days

This is a pretty good episode of South Park. A rodeo is in town
and there is the annual "running of the bulls". A married couple has
won a free trip to South Park on a game show, and they try to make the
most out of their trip. But, after all, they are in South Park.
The boys go to the rodeo and see that one of the games has
Terrence and Philip dolls as prizes. The object of the game is, get
this... to throw a ball through Jennifer Love Hewitt's mouth. There
is a picture of her with her mouth open and the boys try to win at
this rigged game. The biggest laughs come when Cartman falls off a
bull and wakes up thinking he's a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li.
Get ready to crack up at the end with a subplot featuring a
well-known Hollywood actor. All in all, a good episode.

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(If it seems halfway intelligent that is)


davidmlong@hotmail.com

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