Stanley Marsh

Voice: Trey Parker

Episodes: Can be seen in every episode

• Kyle’s best friend
• Wendy Testaburger is his love interest
• Throws up every time he talks to Wendy
• Not a very good hunter
• Star quarterback of the South Park Cows
• Refuses to kill his Grandfather
• Dressed up as Raggedy Andy for Halloween, got worst costume award in contest
• Got Cartman the Blue Mega-Man for his birthday
• Bought Ms. Ellen an alarm clock for Valentines Day
• Had the highest grade on the spelling test and went out to dinner with Ms. Ellen
• Won $3000 as a runner up prize on America’s Stupidest Home Videos (gave it to Cartman for DNA testing)
• Deputized by Officer Barbrady to help solve the chicken lover case
• Tried to split his head open with an ice pick when Mrs. Broslofski tried to educate him about conjoined twin myslexia
• #4 on the Dodgeball team
• Destroyed giant firework snake with Tijuana bottle rocket, saved the day
• He had Sir Elton John wrote a song using his lyrics for Wendy

The Marsh family

Great Great Grandfather – Grandpa’s Grandfather

Episodes: 106

• Asked Grandpa to kill him when Grandpa was a boy
• Called Grandpa "Billy"
• Currently spending eternity in limbo

Grandpa Marsh – Stan’s Grandfather

Episodes: 106, 113, 207

• 102 years old
• Has a death wish, wants Stan to kill him
• Calls Stan "Billy"
• Won best video on Americas Stupidest Home Video’s (the one with Kenny getting killed)

Randy Marsh – Father

Episodes: 103, 106, 109, 110, 113, 203, 204, 205, 207, 210, 212

• Town’s seismologist, works at the South Park Center for Seismic Activity
• Saved the town from a volcano with his trench idea
• Got divorced (then got back together)
• Became a swinger after he got divorced

Sharon Marsh – Mother

Episodes: 106, 109, 113, 202, 204, 205, 207, 210, 212

• Gave Stan and Kyle ice cream with butterscotch when they found out Kenny got run over by a train
• Got divorced (then got back together)

Shelley Marsh – Sister

Episodes: 105, 106, 109, 210

• Wears headgear
• Beats the crap out of Stan for no apparent reason
• Kicked Mutant Stan’s ass

Uncle Jimbo Kern – Stan’s uncle

Episodes: 102, 103, 104, 108, 109, 110, 112, 113, 201, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 213

• Owner of Jimbo’s Gun Shop
• Drives a Hummer
• Has a liking to Kenny, calls him a "Little Bastard"
• Member of South Park Elementary School Alumni
• Member of the South Park Defense Squad
• Is sick and tired of those little flaps on coffee lids, "If you don’t want to spill your coffee, then you shouldn’t be driving with it!"
• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Never knew who his Father was, though they had some great times hunting and fishing together
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Co-Host of TV show "Huntin’ and Killin’"
• No longer kills animals in self defense, but to "thin out their numbers"
• Met Ned in Vietnam
• Sent to a Texas prison for smuggling fireworks (Tijuana bottle rockets) into America
• Chairman of the 14^th annual Cow Days festival
• Assisted the FBI in dealing with the cow cult

Sparky – Stan’s Dog

Episodes: 104

• Part Doberman and part Wolf
• Is a Gay Homosexual
• Wears a pink scarf

Kyle Broslofski

Voice: Matt Stone

Episodes: Can be seen in every episode

• Stan’s best friend
• Jewish
• Always says "Oh my God, they killed Kenny, You Bastard!" when Kenny gets killed
• Likes chocolate milk
• Tried to cross breed an elephant and a pig using genetic engineering
• A+ student
• Dressed up as Chewbacca for Halloween, then as the Solar System, then as a vampire
• Actually killed Kenny on Halloween (chainsawed him in half)
• Played Joseph of Aramathea in the School Christmas play
• Has an acute case of fecalphelia, was institutionalized for it.
• Mr. Hankey’s best friend
• Was supposed to get Cartman the Red Mega-Man for his birthday, but instead got him "Ants in the Pants", this caused Cartman to flip out
• Bought Ms. Ellen a scarf for Valentines day
• Deputized by Officer Barbrady to help solve the chicken lover case
• Won $3000 as a runner up prize on America’s Stupidest Home Videos (gave it to Cartman for DNA testing)
• #7 on the Dodgeball team
• Kissed Bebe on the lips in a game of truth or dare

The Broslofski family

Jerald Broslofski – Father

Episodes: 110, 113, 202, 204, 205, 207, 210, 213, 214

• He’s a lawyer
• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Was Stuart McCormick’s best friend as teenager, worked at Pizza Shack together
• Defended Chef when he was being sued by Capitalist Records

Sheila Broslofski – Mother

Episodes: 106, 109, 110, 112, 202, 204, 205, 207, 210, 213, 214

• Catch phrase "wha wha what?"
• Tried to get Terrance and Phillip off the air
• Ruined the School Christmas play for everyone
• Calls Kyle "Booby"
• Huge fan of Barbara Streisand
• Took it as her mission to educate everyone about conjoined twin Myslexia
• Had sex with Chef to raise money for his legal fees

Uncle Murray – Kyle’s Uncle

• Came to Ike’s Bris

Ike Broslofski – Little Brother

Episodes: 101, 104, 106, 109, 110, 112, 204, 210

• Abducted by aliens
• Looks like a football or a trashcan
• Kyle sometimes uses him as a football "Kick the baby!"
• Became Mecha Ike when he joined the triangles of Zinthar
• Went to Lincoln Nebraska to hide from his penis chopping parents
• Adopted by the Broslofskis, he’s actually a Canadian. They loved him all the same
• 2 years old

Pet Elephant – Kyle’s pet Elephant, unnamed

Episodes: 105, 204

• Kyle mail ordered him from Africa
• Mistaken for a retarded girl by Ms. Crabtree
• Made love to Fluffy, Cartman’s pot bellied pig

Eric Theodore Cartman

Voice: Trey Parker

Episodes: Can be seen in every episode

• The fat kid
• Abducted by aliens who put an anal probe (some kind of symbiotic metamorphosis device) in him. Claimed he was not under alien control
• Scott Baio gave him pink eye aboard the Alien ship
• Catch phrase "Screw you guys, I’m going home"
• Hates rainbows (those things that crawl up you leg and bite the inside of your ass)
• Won the environmental essay contest (by copying Walden by H.D. Thoreau)
• Beefed up to super fat ass for his Television debut (which never happened)
• Dressed up as Scuzzlebutt to scare the others and was almost killed
• Linebacker for the South Park Cows
• Dressed up as Hitler for Halloween, then as a Ku Klux Klan member
• Was abducted and sent to Ethiopia, discovered Sally Struthers secret stash of food
• Found the Triangle of Zinthar on an archeological dig
• Bought Ms. Ellen a chocolate pie for Valentines Day, but forgot it at home (actually he ate it himself)
• Wishes he knew how to spell
• Had tea parties for his stuffed animals because he was upset, he didn’t know who his Father was
• When looking for his father, he thought he was a "Naive American" then a "Black African American"
• Can’t leave anything unfinished
• Lives in the East Side of town
• Deputized by Officer Barbrady to help solve the chicken lover case, no one would listen to his authority. Involved in a prostitution sting
• #325 on the Dodgeball team
• Dressed up as an old lady to hoax Uncle Jimbo as revenge for a lie
• Took swimming lessons (doggy style), eventually made it to the deep end
• Made no money off the movie "Me & Mr. Hankey"
• Sang the "cheesy poofs" theme song and won a regional championship, appeared in Cheesy Poof commercial
• Became a hero during the Planetarium ordeal
• Built Ewok Village 2000 with the help of Kenny
• Said Stan’s line (Oh my God! They killed Kenny!)
• Fell off of a bull and suffered head trauma, thought he was a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li
• Did his German dance to cheer Chef up and to raise money for his legal fees

The Cartman family

Grandma – Grandmother

Episodes: 211

DeeAnn Cartman – Mother (sort of)

Episodes: 101, 103, 106, 108, 109, 113, 201, 202, 207, 210, 211, 212

• Spoils Cartman rotten
• Says God hates gay people
• Once appeared on the cover of "Crack Whore Magazine". She said that she was young and needed the money
• Said that if you want to be a lesbian, you have to lick carpet
• Native American’s refer to her as "Bear with wide canyon" or "Doe who cannot keep legs together" or "Slut"
• Wanted to have an abortion in her 44^th trimester when she decided that she wasn’t fit to raise a child in this screwy world
• Discovered to be a hermaphrodite, she is actually Cartman’s father
• Told Cartman that the proper term for penis is "Fireman"

Kitty – Cartman’s pet cat

Episodes: 101, 113, 210

• Has only ever looked at Cartman and meowed
• Was set on fire by flames from Cartman’s ass
• Used to scratch Cartman’s face when he had chicken pox

Fluffy – Cartman’s pet pot bellied pig

Episodes: 105

• Made love to Kyle’s elephant
• Gave birth to something that looks strikingly similar to Mr. Garrison

Kenny McCormick

Voice: Matt Stone

Episodes: Can be seen in every episode

• Poor
• Cannot be understood because his hood covers his mouth
• Usually has something dirty to say, knows a lot about sex
• Is Uncle Jimbo’s honorary nephew
• Gave the Town an epidemic of diarrhea
• Became one of the living dead, thought to have dressed up in an Edward James Olmos costume, won 2^nd place in costume contest
• Got Cartman the Yellow Mega-Man for his birthday (because it’s the cheapest one $8.95)
• Selected to participate in the "canned food grab"
• Played an angel in the School Christmas play
• Bought Ms. Ellen a sausage for Valentines Day
• Risked his life so that Mephisto may live
• Deputized by Officer Barbrady to help solve the chicken lover case
• Lives in the Lower East side of town
• #69 on the Dodgeball team
• Helped Cartman build Ewok Village 2000

Deaths *usually followed by him being eaten by rats

101 – Shot by aliens, then ran over by a stampede, then hit by a police car

102 – Shot in the head by Mr. Garrison then his head got impaled by a flagpole

103 – Crushed by a lava ball from a volcano, then accidentally shot by Ned’s gun

104 – Decapitated by the Middlepark Cowboys during a football game

105 – Mutant Stan threw him into the microwave, which cooked him to death

106 – Touched by Death

107 – Crushed by Mir Space Station, then Kyle chainsawed him in half (his tombstone read: "Sleep well, little child. The Lord holds thee now". Then, after he resurrected, a statue fell on him, followed by a plane crashing on him and it catching fire

108 – Jimbo shot him with a machine gun because Kenny was a rare duck billed platypus that was "coming right for us"

109 – Pecked to death by pissed off genetically engineered turkeys

110 – DID NOT DIE IN THIS EPISODE, but came close several times

111 – Ms. Ellen threw a sword into his head pinning him to a wall

112 – Hung himself on a tether ball

113 – Run over by a train

Tonight Show Special – Killed by Jay Leno’s chin

201 – HBC movie of the week, not a South Park episode, thus no death

202 – Electrocuted to death

203 – Though almost killed several times, was eventually killed by a fallen tree

204 – Fell into a grave and a tombstone fell on top of him

205 – Hit with a ball so hard he splattered into a wall during a Dodgeball game

206 – Ripped in half by angry TV audience

207 – Eaten by a big black scary monster, slammed into a wall by Fonzie’s motorcycle

208 – Firecracker blew off his head (as young Kenny), and crushed by bleachers and burned by a giant ash snake

209 – Trampled to death by movie goers

210 – Flatlined in hospital

211 – His head blew up during mind control experiment

212 – Got trampled in a mosh pit

213 – Stabbed by a raging bull’s horns

214 – Ozzy Osbourne bit his head off

The McCormick family

Stuart McCormick – Father

Episodes: 109, 113, 203, 207, 210

• His hat says "Scotch"
• Was Jerald Broslofski’s best friend as a teenager, worked at Pizza Shack together
• Is a bitter old drunk just like his old man

Mrs. McCormick – Mother, unnamed as of yet

Episodes: 109, 203, 207, 210

• Wears a T-shirt that says, "I’m with Stupid" with an arrow that points to her husband
• Doesn’t care for hoity toity rich folk stuff like tea bags or coffee grounds

Kevin McCormick – Brother

Episodes: 109, 203, 210

• Dirty

Dr. Adams – Planetarium Operator

Episodes: 211

• Has a rare bone disease that won’t let him pronounce the "T" in "Planetarium"
• Tried to get South Park to appreciate Planetariums through mind control, Foiled by his own evil plan

Alien Visitors – Extra terrestrials

Episodes: 101

• Turned cows inside out
• Took Cartman up in their ship and gave him an anal probe
• Kidnapped Ike

Officer Barbrady – Police Officer

Episodes: 101, 102, 103, 105, 106, 109, 110, 112, 113, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 207, 208, 211, 213, 214

• Dumb as a wall
• Catch phrase "OK people, move along, there’s nothing to see here."
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Subject of TV show "Cops"
• Married
• Illiterate (formerly)
• Deputized the boys to aid him in the chicken lover case
• The town had a parade in his honor for his heroic work on the chicken lover case
• Born in South Park (and will eventually die there)
• Turned into Elvis by Dr. Adams
• Has some weird sexual connection with the Mayor

Barky – Terrance and Phillip’s dog

Episodes: 201

Bartender

Episodes: 204

• Got Mr. Mackie to drink

Bebe – Wendy’s best friend/Classmate

Episodes: 102, 105, 108, 109, 110, 111, 203, 205, 207, 212

• Narrated the play about the Ute Indians and South Park
• Gave Wendy a makeover to impress Stan
• Loves Kyle’s ass
• Kissed Kyle on the lips in a game of truth or dare
• Dumped Kyle (though they were never going out) for Clyde

Big Gay Al- Runs Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Animal Sanctuary

Episodes: 104

• Queer as a three dollar bill
• Showed Stan the wonders of Gayety

Big Record Producer – Of Capitalist Records

Episodes: 214

• Thinks he is above the law
• Has to keep gluing his hair into place
• Hired Johnny Cochran to sue Chef
• Sabotaged Chef Aid

Bill and Flossy

Episodes: 104, 105, 106, 205

• Always saying that stuff is gay
• They hang out with Terrance

Bob Thomas – Coach of the Denver Cougars Dodgeball team

Episodes: 205

Bookie – Works at the Sport’s Betting Bar

Episodes: 104, 108, 207

Booktastic Busdriver – Drives the Booktastic Bus

Episodes: 203

• Fruitcake
• F*cked chickens so Officer Barbrady could learn to read
• Gave officer Barbrady a hard cover copy Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Carl – Proprietor of "Carl’s Bombs and Explosives and Accessories"

Episodes: 104, 113

• Wears a patch on his left eye
• Made a bomb that would explode when Richard Stamos sang a high F

Casey – Classmate

Episodes: 105

• Grew a weed for the science fair

Cattle Rancher – Local Cattle Rancher

Episodes: 101, 113, 203, 213

• His cows were being turned inside out by alien visitors
• Was in the band that played at the 12^th Annual Drunken Barn Dance
• His chickens were getting f*cked by the Booktastic Busdriver
• Owns "Old Bob" a retired bull

Charlie – Representative of Dyno Might firework company

Episodes: 208

• Sold a firework snake 5000 times bigger than your average snake to South Park for it’s 4^th of July celebration

Chef – Chef of the school cafeteria

Voice: Isaac Hayes

Episodes: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 201, 202, 204, 205, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 214

• A ladies man
• Drives a green Town and Country station wagon with wood panels
• Sings a song almost every episode
• Calls the boys "children"
• Did Kathy Lee Gifford
• Captain of the South Park Cows football team
• Gets girls good and drunk to get them in the mood
• Dressed up as Evel Knievel for Halloween
• Jesus’ sparring partner
• Cured the Pink Eye epidemic
• Led the fight against the Thanksgiving Turkeys (Braveheart style)
• Sang at the School Christmas play
• Had a date with Ms. Ellen, didn’t score
• When he first moved to South Park, he intended on opening his own restaurant
• Warned the kids to stay away from drugs
• Coach of the Dodgeball team
• World famous cookies "Chef’s salty chocolate balls"
• Wrote "Stinky Britches" 20 years before Alanis Morrissett ripped it off
• His real name is Terrome Macaroy
• Found guilty of harassing a major record label
• Got to travel all over the world with bands and went to lavish parties and loved many, many women
• Whored himself to every woman in town to raise money to pay Johnny Cochran’s legal fees (he made $410, 300)

Chef’s Girls

Episodes: 101, 108

Chief Running Water – Ute Indian Chief

Episodes: 113, 201, 202

• Still lives on the Ute Native American Reservation just outside of town
• Thought to be Cartman’s dad

Clyde – School Classmate

Episodes: 102, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 211, 212

• The normal kid (usually in the background)
• One of the living dead on Halloween
• Supposed to get Cartman the Mega-Cycle for his birthday
• #5 on the Dodgeball team
• Bebe’s boyfriend, after Kyle

Clyde Frog – One of Cartman’s dolls

Episodes: 113

Congressman O’Reilly – Congressman of Colorado

Episodes: 202

• Ms. Cartman slept with him to see if he could change the law on abortion

Cows

Episodes: 101, 213

• Discovered to be most gentle and wise of all Earth’s creatures by Alien visitors
• Were given a gift from the Alien visitors, a device that makes people "singa about the moon . . . etc."
• Started a cow cult and committed mass suicide on Cow Days

Ms. Crabtree – School Bus Driver

Episodes: 101, 105, 107, 113, 202, 204, 205, 207, 211

• Yells a lot, "sit down and shut up!" is her catch phrase
• Has a bird in her hair
• Uses the "keep quiet or I’ll kill the bunny" technique to keep the kids quiet
• Pet named "muffin" by the truck driver
• Crashed into the Vietnam Memorial when the boys flung a jelly roll at her
• Had sex with Chef to help raise money for his legal fees (she had to wear a bag over her head though)

Damien – Son of the Prince of Darkness

Episodes: 108

• From the seventh layer of Hell (Alabama)
• His arrival shall mark the end of the beginning, the beginning of the end, the new reign of his father
• Turned Kenny into a duck billed platypus
• Nicknamed "Fartboy"
• Blew up Pip to do something special for Cartman’s party

Death – The Grim Reaper

Episodes: 106, 207

• Killed Kenny instead of Stan’s Grandpa

Dr. – Local Doctor

Episodes: 107

• Thought all of the walking dead only had a case of pink eye

Dr. – Doctor at Hell’s Pass Hospital

Episodes: 202, 210, 213, 214

Ms. Ellen – Substitute teacher

Episodes: 111

• Hot
• Is a lesbian, and only likes other lesbians
• Traitor to the Iraqi Government
• Real name is "Makesh Alak Makarakesh"
• Was shot into the center of the Sun for her crimes against Iraq

Enrique – Middlepark Mascot

Episodes: 104

• Boobytrapped to blow up at halftime when Richard Stamos sings the high F

Frank Hammond – From South Park Public Radio AM900

Episodes: 104, 213

• Was announcer at the football game between the South Park Cows and the Middle Park Cowboys
• Usually gets into trouble for saying racy thing on air
• Co-announcer of the Cow Days Rodeo

Mr. Freely – Mr. Mackie’s Landlord

Episodes: 204

• Stopped renting to Mr. Mackie for selling drugs to children
• Is totally fine having never used drugs

Old Freda – South Park Prostitute

Episodes: 210

• Has a mouthful of herpes
• Hangs out on Main St.

Mr. Garrison – School Teacher

Episodes: Can be seen in every episode

• Probably the worst teacher in the world
• Drives what looks like a VW Sirocco
• Was upstaged by Kathy Lee Gifford in a talent show at a young age, tried to kill her for it later
• Directed the play about the history of South Park
• Thinks that gay people are evil, right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine but rather a thick vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clogs in their pea sized brains which becomes the cause of their naziesque patterns of violent behavior
• Dressed up as Marilyn Monroe for Halloween
• Directed the School Christmas play
• He would love to get rid of all the Mexicans
• Got as nosejob and ended up looking a lot like David Hasslehoff
• Quit his teaching job to "hang out and screw hot chicks"
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• "Pictures of Courage", a film by Mr. Garrison about Nurse Golem
• Was not in Vietnam, but sometimes likes to pretend he was
• Extremely distraught over Mr. Hat’s disappearance
• Is in denial about his homosexuality
• Thinks that Mr. Hat is a two timing whore
• Placed shenanigans charges against the carnival company at Cow Days
• Put in Jail for being a fruitcake
• Took Mr. Hat back because he is in love with him

Nurse Golem – School Nurse

Episodes: 211

• Has a stillborn fetus growth attached to her head
• Got her degree at Colorado State University
• Sole participant in the 1^st annual grand conjoined parade
• Won the Lifetime Conjoined Achievement Award
• Woman of the Week during Twin Conjoin Myslexia Week

Nurse Goodly – Nurse at Hell’s Pass Hospital

Episodes: 202

• She has no arms

Hakim Korashki - Of the mighty nation of Iraq

Episodes: 111

• Sent after Ms. Ellen to make her pay for her crimes against Iraq

Halfie – Townsperson

Episodes: 113, 203, 213

• He has no legs
• Has never slept with Ms. Cartman
• Given the chance, he would F a chicken
• Participant in the "running of the cows" event

Mr. Hankey – Piece of shit, the Christmas Poo

Episodes: 108, 110, 209

• He comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diets
• Kyle’s best friend, next to Stan
• Can only come out at Christmas time
• Almost dies from environmental pollution during a film festival held in South Park

Hap – Owner of Hap’s Bar

Episodes: 204

• Used Ike as a table post in his Bar

Mr. Hat – Hand Puppet

Episodes: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 214

• Mr. Garrison’s hand puppet
• Put into therapy for trying to kill Kathy Lee Gifford
• Dressed up as Chewbacca for Halloween
• Likes to drink Cosmopolitans, he may have a drinking problem
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Last seen in episode 208
• Sometimes he fantasizes about same sex relations, specifically that he is in a sauna with Brett Farve and a bottle of 1000 Island dressing
• Came back to Mr. Garrison in 214
• Broke Mr. Garrison and Chef out of jail

Mrs. Hermans – Librarian

Episodes: 205

• Opened an East Wing of the town Library

Jack McMack – Rodeo contestant

Episodes: 213

• Impaled by a bulls horns when he failed to stay on a bucking bull

Jesus Christ – Talk show Host and Son of God

Episodes: 104, 106, 108, 110, 112

• Host of public access talk show "Jesus and Pals"
• Died for our sins
• Only does autographs after the show
• Weighed in at 135lbs 1oz for his fight with Satan
• Forsook by the entire town
• Fought under the name "Jesus El Savior Christ"
• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• The only man in town who always has a fully stocked wine cellar
• Has video "Jesus and Pals, too hot for TV!"

John Warsaw – President of Cartoon Central Network

Episodes: 106

• His official statement on behalf of the Network to Mrs. Broslofski and those who would have Terrance and Phillip off the air was "F*ck you" then he directed any questions to a brick wall
• Finally relented and took Terrance and Phillip off the air, replace the show with "She’s the Sheriff" starring Suzanne Somers

Johnson – One of the Mayor’s Aids

Episodes: 102, 103, 109, 110, 112, 202, 203, 205, 208, 209, 213

• Mayor fired him, but then hired him back
• He’s the Mayor’s right hand man

Jordan – Classmate

Episodes: 205

Judge Moses – Judge of South Park Court

Episodes: 214

• Presided over the Capitalist Records Vs. Chef case

Kevin – The little monkey guy that follows Mephisto around

Episodes: 105, 109, 113, 201, 202

• Nobody really knows what he is

Kevin – Classmate

Episodes: 205

• American born Chinese who doesn’t know the secret of Chinese Dodgeball

Ms. Kimball – Town person

Episodes: 111

• Impressed with Mr. Garrison’s new look
• Is in the book
• Helped get Mr. Garrison back as a teacher

Mr. Mackie – School Counselor

Episodes: 108, 110, 113, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207, 211, 212, 214

• Catch phrase "uhmkay"
• Prompted the town into action when all of their kids were missing
• Got fired for passing Marijuana around to the class
• Kicked out of town for doing drugs
• Got married to a hippie chick and honeymooned in India
• Sent to rehab to deal with his drug problem
• Performed mind meld on Van Gelder
• Placed shenanigan charges against the carnival company at Cow Days

Marcus – Truck Driver

Episodes: 207

• Drives Red’s Rufies truck
• Is in love with Ms. Crabtree

Martin – Caller on Jesus and Pals

Episodes: 107

• From Aspen Park
• Has a brother who cheated on the SAT’s

Marty – Works at the South Park Morgue

Episodes: 107

• Loves Worcestershire sauce (not to be used as embalming fluid)
• Turned into one of the walking dead by Kenny

Marty Adonis – Head of a talent firm

Episodes: 207

Mayor – Mayor of South Park

Episodes: 102, 103, 106, 109, 110, 112, 113, 202, 203, 205, 207, 208, 209, 213, 214

• Seems to have some sort of sexual relationship with Officer Barbrady
• Went to Princeton
• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Inaugurated Conjoined Twin Myslexia Awareness Week
• Covered up the deaths of Tom and Mary
• Had sex with Chef to help raise money for his legal fees

Mr. McCormick – Martyr to us all

Episodes: 106

• Died to get Terrance and Phillip off the air
• Thought by many to be Kenny’s dad, he is not

Dr. Alphonse Mephisto – Genetic engineer

Episodes: 105, 109, 113, 201, 202, 207

• Runs genetic engineering ranch
• Hangs around with a little monkey guy named Kevin
• Likes to add asses to animals
• Shot Mutant Stan in the head and killed him
• Tried to genetically engineer turkeys for Thanksgiving and they got really pissed off
• Charged Cartman $3000 for DNA testing to see who his Father is
• His Brother tries to shoot him every month

Middle Park Cowboys – Rival football team to the South Park Cows

Episodes: 104

Milo – Barbra Streisand’s assistant

Episodes: 112

Mitchell – Cowboy

Episodes: 213

• Discovered the cow cult
• Knows that when cows start getting together, it can’t be good

Mutant Stan – Terrance’s science fair project

Episodes: 105

• Catch phrase "Butt chewy Chomp"
• Wreaked havoc on South Park
• Shelley Marsh beat the crap out of him
• Was killed by Mephisto

Ned Kerblanski – Jimbo’s old war buddy

Episodes: 103, 104, 108, 109, 110, 112, 113, 201, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 213

• Speaks using a "cancer kazoo" due to throat cancer
• Sees the folly of guns and will never use one again (even though he did)
• Member of the South Park Defense Squad
• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Co-Host of TV show "Huntin’ and Killin"
• Sent to a Texas prison for smuggling fireworks (Tijuana bottle rockets) into America
• Has an ex-wife
• Got mauled by the cow cult
• No longer kills animals in self defense, but to "thin out their numbers"
• Met Jimbo in Vietnam
• Catatonic from looking at the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
• Assisted the FBI in dealing with the cow cult

Peter Panda – One of Cartman’s dolls

Episodes: 113

Phil – Frank Hammond’s co-host

Episodes: 104, 213

• Keeps Frank in check

Pip – British kid

Episodes: 101, 104, 105, 108, 109, 110, 112, 203, 204, 205, 206, 208

• Everyone hates him
• Cartman set him on fire with the flames that were shooting out of his ass
• Did not get invited to Cartman’s birthday party
• Turned into one of the living dead on Halloween
• His real name is Phillip but everyone calls him "Pip" because they hate him
• His parents are dead so he spends his summers in summer school
• Gave Kyle a nosebleed in a game of Dodgeball
• Star player of the Dodgeball team, threw the winning ball for the World Championship
• #00 on the Dodgeball team

Polly Prissy Pants – One of Cartman’s dolls

Episodes: 113

Priest – The town’s Minister

Episodes: 108, 110, 113, 203, 204, 205, 214

• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Presided over Ike’s Funeral
• Placed shenanigan charges against the carnival company at Cow Days

Producer – Of the Cable access show "Jesus and Pals"

Episodes: 206

• Went way too far to get higher ratings for the show
• Jesus sent her to Hell

Purry – Terrance and Phillip’s cat

Episodes: 201

Robert – Caller on Jesus and Pals

Episodes: 104

• From Torrey Pines
• His ex wife hasn’t mouthed off since his last call

Roland – Stagehand on Jesus and Pals

Episodes: 108

Roy – Stan’s one episode Step Father

Episodes: 212

• Made Stan do tons of chores, especially cutting wood
• Rejected by Stan

Rumpletumskin – One of Cartman’s dolls

Episodes: 113

Runaway Boys

Episodes: 204, 211

• Kicked out of town for doing drugs
• Hippies
• Brainwashed into working for Dr. Adams at the Planetarium

Runaway Girls

Episodes: 212

• Stayed in Ewok Village 2000 when they left home

Sally – Terrance’s daughter

Voice of: Trey Parker

Episodes: 201

• Daughter of Celine Dion
• Was being held captive in Iran

Santa – A fat guy who brings kids presents at Christmas time

Episodes: 110

Satan – The Dark Prince

Episodes: 108, 206

• Is huge, looks like a man who has eaten a lot of beef
• Weighed in at 320lbs 4oz for his fight with Jesus
• Fought under the name "Beelzebub"
• Bet on Jesus to win the fight and walked away a much richer Prince of Darkness

Dr. Schwartz – Broslofski family Doctor

Episodes: 204

• Performed Ike’s Bris

Scott from Canada – The guy who hates Terrance and Phillip

Voice of: Trey Parker

Episodes: 201

• A television critic for magazines
• Wishes cancer on Terrance and Phillip
• Does not like fart jokes

Scott – Friend of the runaway girls

Episodes: 212

Scuzzlebutt – Lord of the Mountain

Episodes: 103, 207

• Kills anyone who climbs to the top of the mountain because he loves the taste of blood and likes to add pieces to his already deformed body
• His left hand is a piece of celery
• Walks with a limp, because one of his legs is missing, where his leg used to be, there is nothing but Patrick Duffy
• Lives alone on Mount Evanston
• Weaves baskets and other assorted crafts (on quiet nights, you can hear him weaving his baskets)
• Saved Jimbo, Ned and the Boys from lava
• Friendly but misunderstood
• Killed by Stan
• In 207, had Brent Mussberger for a leg

Sid Greenfield – Director of America’s Most Wanted

Episodes: 202

• Performed cannibalism when snowed in during a big storm
• Was eaten when snowed in during a big storm

Ms. Social Worker – Betty Ford Clinic Employee

Episodes: 204

• Rehabilitated Mr. Mackie

Starvin’ Marvin – Ethiopian adopted by the Boys

Episodes: 109

• Speaks in clicks
• Fed his entire village with genetically engineered turkeys

Stu – Local firework salesman

Episodes: 208

Swanson – Classmate

Episodes: 205

Sylvester – Stray Dog

Episodes: 104, 204

• Sparky had his way with him
• Supposedly the toughest dog in South Park
• Ate the Ike doll
• Got killed by a Truck

Ted – Mayor’s assistant

Episodes: 102, 103, 109, 110, 112, 202, 203, 205, 208, 209, 213

Terrance – Mephisto’s son, classmate

Episodes: 105

• Tried to clone a whole human resulting in a Mutant Stan
• Thinks that everyone is stupid

Terrance and Phillip – Stars of Canadian TV show

Voice of Terrance: Matt Stone

Voice of Phillip: Trey Parker

Episodes: 106, 109, 113, 201, 207, 210, 211, 212

• They fart a lot, A LOT!
• Had a Thanksgiving Special
• Canada’s hottest action stars
• Stars of the HBC made for TV movie "Not Without My Anus"{based on a true story}
• Best friends (not gay)
• Terrance is a famous surgeon
• Phillip is a lawyer
• They love Kroff Dinner
• Terrance has a daughter (Sally) with Celine Dion
• Terrance asked Celine Dion to marry him so he could make them a family again
• Phillip contracted cancer (his ass was collapsing), was saved by Terrance who donated half of his ass in an anal transplant

Tom – News 4 reporter

Episodes: 101, 103,105, 106, 112, 207

Tom – Plastic Surgeon

Episodes: 111

• Owner of Tom’s Rhinoplasty
• Gave Mr. Garrison a really good nosejob

Tom – Cameraman on "Huntin’ and Killin’"

Episodes: 206

Tom and Mary – Winners of gameshow "What The Hell Is That?"

Episodes: 213

• Won a trip to South Park on a gameshow
• Accused of stealing the 60ft tall golden cow statue
• Starved to death in jail and were eaten by rats

Tom and Patty – Friends of the Broslofskis

Episodes: 204

Mr. Torres – Patient in Dr.’s Office

Episodes: 107

• Chef ripped his arm off

Train conductor – Work’s on the South Park Express

Episodes: 101, 204

Mr. Twig – Hand Puppet

Episodes: 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214

• Mr. Hats replacement
• Has a pink triangle on his shirt (representing homosexuality)
• Far more stable than Mr. Hat could ever be
• Cooked in a pot
• Broken in half
• Told Mr. Garrison to go back to Mr. Hat

Van Gelder – Boy who escaped from the Planetarium

Episodes: 211

Principal Victoria – Principle of the Elementary School

Episodes: 107, 109, 111, 113, 204, 205

• As with most townsfolk, probably slept with Ms. Cartman
• Fired Mr. Mackie for passing Marijuana around to the class

Ugly Bob – Friend of Terrance and Phillip

Voice of: Matt Stone

Episodes: 201

• His face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver
• Wears a bag over his head so he can score with chicks
• Was doing Celine Dion, he told her his name was "Handsome Bob"
• Celine Dion is pregnant with his child

Wendy Testaburger – Stan’s love interest/Classmate

Episodes: 101, 102, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 205, 207, 209, 211, 212, 214

• Stan is in love with her
• Bitter at Cartman for cheating on the Environmental Essay contest
• Dressed up as Chewbacca for Halloween, won 1^st place in costume contest
• Turned into one of the living dead on Halloween
• Supposed to get Cartman the Mega-Power Chopper for his birthday, but was changed to the Yellow Mega-Man since Kenny has been turned into a duck billed platypus
• Played the Virgin Mary in the School Christmas play
• Bought Ms. Ellen a dead animal for Valentines Day as she was extremely jealous of her
• Had Bebe give her a makeover so Stan would notice her again
• Her Grandmother died
• Don’t F*ck with her
• Plotted with the Iraqi to eliminate Ms. Ellen
• Will be the death of Stan (according to Cartman)

Kathy Lee Gifford – Weight Gain 4000 (102), Flashbacks (207)

Geraldo Rivera – Weight Gain 4000 (102)

Patrick Duffy – Volcano (103)

George Clooney (voice of) – Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

Village People – Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

Brian Boitano – Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

Hugh Grant – Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

Rodney King - Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

John Stamos’s older brother Richard Stamos – Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104)

Sir Elton John – An elephant makes love a pig (105), Chef Aid (214)

Suzanne Somers – Death (106)

Tina Yothers – Pink Eye (107)

Don King – Damien (108)

Michael Buffer – Damien (108)

Nancy Kerrigan - Damien (108)

Sally Struthers – Starvin’ Marvin (109), Mecha Streisand (112), Cliffhanger (113)

Phillip Glass – A South Park Christmas (110)

The chick from Species (voice of) – Tom’s Rhinoplasty (111)

David Hasslehoff – Tom’s Rhinoplasty (111)

Leonard Maltin – Mecha Streisand (112)

Barbra Streisand – Mecha Streisand (112)

Sidney Poitier – Mecha Streisand (112)

Robert Smith – Mecha Streisand (112)

Bob Saget – Cliffhanger (113)

Denver Broncos – Cliffhanger (113), Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

Jay Leno – Tonight Show Special, Flashbacks (207)

Saddam Hussein – Not Without My Anus (201), Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka (206)

Celine Dion – Not Without My Anus (201)

Meredith Baxter Bernie – Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

Styx – Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

Eric Roberts – Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

John Walsh – Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

Bill Clinton – Cliffhanger Part 2 (202)

Teletubbies – Ike’s Bris (204)

A-Team – Ike’s Bris (204)

Bob Denver – Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka (206)

Carrot Top – Flashbacks (207)

Brent Mussburger – Flashbacks (207)

Macaulay Culkin – Flashbacks (207)

Fonzie (Henry Winkler) – Flashbacks (207)

John Elway – Flashbacks (207)

Lambchop – Summer Sucks (208)

Dr. Katz – Summer Sucks (208)

Brett Farve – Summer Sucks (208)

Fred Savage – Chefs Salty Chocolate Balls (209)

Tom Hanks – Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls (209)

Fat Albert and the Gang (with Bill Cosby) – Clubhouses (212)

Jennifer Love Hewitt – Cow Days (213)

Leonardo DiCaprio – Cow Days (213)

Alanis Morissette – Chef Aid (214)

Johnny Cochran - Chef Aid (214)

Janis Joplin - Chef Aid (214)

The Beatles - Chef Aid (214)

Sex Pistols - Chef Aid (214)

Rick James – Chef Aid (214)

Meatloaf - Chef Aid (214)

Ozzy Osbourne - Chef Aid (214)

Primus - Chef Aid (214)

Rancid - Chef Aid (214)

Joe Strummer - Chef Aid (214)

Ween - Chef Aid (214)

107 – Midget wearing a bikini

112 – Quadriplegic Swiss man on a pony

208 - Normal looking guy with a funny name (Creamy Goodness)

211 - 34 year old Asian man who looks strikingly similar to Ricardo Monteban